Valentine’s Day in a legal brothel – quiet or chaos? Catherine de Noir, the 31-year-old manager of one of Europe’s biggest houses (and a PhD student in psychology with nearly half a million followers), says it’s one of the busiest nights of the year. In this straight-talking chat, she explains why: married guys popping in for a quick escape, single men desperate for real conversation instead of just sex, and everyone happy to pay premium for a bit of genuine human warmth on the loneliest “romantic” day of the year.
Do you see an increase in men coming to your brothel on Valentine’s Day, or is it quieter than usual?
“Yes, Valentine’s Day is quite a busy day in terms of customers. During working hours, the venue is mostly visited by married men or men in relationships who want to spend some time with their favorite sex worker and maybe bring her flowers or a small gift. At night, the club is filled more with single guys who don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day – so they either go out with friends for a few beers and then end up at our place, or they come straight to us. On the other hand, many sex workers are in relationships themselves, so they usually spend Valentine’s Day with their partner. Some, however, do work on Valentine’s Day – and some of them charge premium rates :).“
For those men that do come in on Valentine’s Day, would you say they mostly come in for sex or companionship (i.e., loneliness)?
“No – it usually goes hand in hand. Very few men come in, pull down their pants, and want “just” sex. Most of them want to talk, they want to feel like they’re with a real human being and not a robot. But I do think Valentine’s Day is a day when loneliness hits some men harder, and they don’t want to spend it alone or wander around bars full of single people, so they’d rather pay for a nice experience.”
Do you ever get couples coming in to your brothel to spice up their sex life?
“We do, but every time I see them I think: Here comes the trouble. About 90% of the time it’s a couple that has already had a few drinks and thought it would be a super cool idea to try a threesome in a brothel. The problem is that they haven’t talked beforehand about boundaries – what they actually want to try, what’s a no-go area, and so on. So in about 90% of cases it ends with either one or the other crying and a big argument.“
“So yes – the idea itself is great. If someone wants this kind of experience, I think it’s definitely better to pay a professional who knows what she’s doing and who won’t text one of them afterward or want to keep seeing them. But it really needs to be discussed in advance, otherwise it usually ends in tears.“
What’s the most heartwarming story you’ve heard of someone finding confidence or connection through your brothel?
“Honestly, it feels like we experience this almost every day. People often come to us with fantasies they’d like to explore in a safe environment. And these can be fantasies that, for most of the population, aren’t even connected to sex, yet for someone they’re very arousing – for example, a client who gets turned on by watching women eat pizza, or a guy who’s aroused by driving a toy car over sex workers’ backs, or people who enjoy all kinds of costumes and role-play scenarios.”
“I’m glad that we’re a place where people feel confident exploring their sexuality and feel that no one is judging them. I like to think of a brothel as an adult playground, where people can experiment and play with their sexuality without being told they’re weird or creeps – of course, as long as what they want is legal and everyone involved consents.”
Have any of your clients started dating one of the escorts in your brothels? We’d love to hear the story if so.
“One story comes to mind that had a real fairytale ending. But for context – it’s not very common. Most sex workers may like some clients, but mainly it’s work for them, and they see clients more as business partners than as potential romantic partners. Many of them are already in relationships, so they have very clearly set boundaries with clients so as not to endanger their partnerships.“
“That said, there was a woman working with us who had a truly awful loser boyfriend – and we all told her so. He treated her badly, didn’t work, and she supported both of them. He constantly promised her that next year he’d marry her and they’d start a family. Eventually she’d had enough and broke up with him. Of course, he panicked and suddenly tried very hard – he even bought her an engagement ring. But thankfully she didn’t fall for it again.“
“She decided to focus fully on work and make as much money as possible. For two years she really focused only on work, earned enough for a house, an apartment, and a car, and then decided to quit. It was her last week at the club, and on Wednesday she met a client – they spent the whole night together. He came back on Thursday and Friday as well. On Saturday and Sunday she didn’t come to work anymore and spent the time with him. On Monday she was supposed to fly back to her home country, but she decided to stay with him instead.“
“They’re now married and have their first baby together.“
Are there any special packages, themes, or experiences you’re offering for Valentine’s Day this year?
“As a club, we don’t offer any special deals or packages. We leave that to the sex workers themselves, because in our club they decide on their services and prices independently. Announcing Valentine’s specials for sexual services would go against our approach – we believe that’s something sex workers should decide for themselves. In previous years some of them decorated their rooms or wore heart-themed lingerie, but that’s entirely up to them.”
